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To All The Futures

by Anna Oakes-Monger

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1.
Speak 03:58
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I'm saying look Ten years it took For my tongue to crawl out Trying to prevent An accident For words to fall out Never wanted to make you like me less I shared a bedroom with my shame Don't you notice that girl you never trust yourself And you laugh like you're landing a plane We'll bring a big piece of card home And test all of the biros on the kitchen floor Drawing future cities Saying, what's that bit mean Explain it all I heard you had a good June The winter too How did you manage that Me and my windscreen wipers We're having a party on the M5 to Fleetwood Mac I forgot the size of my life Rain falling down a well Speak and believe yourself Alien to all my insides Bruises are bound to swell Speak and believe yourself This book is my favourite book You said that last week Yeah I know I did You know I just like how all the characters Help themselves to a beer from the fridge Sun shines, sun shines I walk to post a letter Blue lips, blue lips It's summer swimming weather
2.
England 03:53
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Bring that red sky in Tide out, mud shining Unredeemed island Stranger when it snows What does the land know Ten thousand years softened in the peat It's underneath my feet Carbonated myth Disintegrating We just watch it spin We're dead or alive Only life has bagpipes We'll do something to pick you up Dancing sardined in the pub The fells are frozen like a mirror The government are class killers The losers always love the winners We've lost our ground again Baby on a rollercoaster The winter geese are flying over Someone on twitter's getting sober I'm staying here with them Near miss, death kiss Has England made its promises It's just the wind that gives body to the flag Could justice be salvaged Is it likelier than this It could live here or any other land
3.
Mullaghmore 02:58
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Early morning, weekday fog Bathroom crying, retail job You don't want to be here long Yellow on the motorway You'll be out soon anyway Take your legs outside and into the rectangle day You said that you don't get why you never seem to be alright I'll say what I always say I read this thing in a book once It's not long now, love, til we reach the sea and take our shoes and socks off and dash into the green And I was thinking we could call in sick and they won't ever know I'm always finding sand in the pockets of my clothes I'm always finding sand in the pockets of my clothes Deep sea diver Taxi driver stopping at the mosque to pray We could stay up Have a power cut to see how we'd behave Another pub night Another slow grind you spend wondering what you do it for This is what it's for The time we slept soaked through out on the cliffs at Mullaghmore It's not long now, love, til we reach the sea and take our shoes and socks off and dash into the green And I was thinking we could call in sick and they won't ever know I'm always finding sand in the pockets of my clothes I'm always finding sand in the pockets of my clothes
4.
I'll Go First 03:09
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Everything I said was lost on you Everything I said was lost on you I wanted you to love the sea Everything you said was lost on me Where was the end of this In the spring I was scared shitless Never felt like I did my best And you said we are here with less Oh, I don't want to know If you're gonna go So I'll go first Don't know if you meant it then At the end of a hardening year In the park when the grass was wet And you said we are here with less I could say that I did my best At the end of a hardening year Felt like I was on my last legs Only legs that we are born with
5.
Storm Warnings 02:36
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How could the world survive that Thin moon was like an eyelash I don't know Feeling fifteen years older Tears on your fabric shoulder I don't know To all the futures gone Tell me if I've got you wrong Can't find another one Storm warnings on the weather Trees fall and catch each other Like that we could be brothers I don't know The river runs out Straight to the sea The people outside are so much like me Drunk in the park Clothes on the line Don't want the rest of our lives to be a sign of the times To all the futures gone Tell me if I've got you wrong Can't find another one That day the train was heaving Reached out and pulled your bags in Doors closed, whole place was beaming I don't know
6.
The Museum 05:23
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Centuries down the line We've been aching all this time We've been talking to each other We've been talking in the night Told my sister watch yourself Move with courage and with stealth You own the world, you own the sky This is your time The walls are paved with all this sin When a man tells you who he is, believe him The burnt books, deleted songs The back drawer bedsheets washed once The way we wear the shoes to run The shelves all stocked up to the back With jars of old panic attacks I'm walking corridors of artefacts Oh, the night is long at the museum And everything is wrong at the museum The spoils of tiny wars Won't someone find the doors We were never yours The record books were missing teeth Hard, of course, to set the scene For if something's to be history It must first be believed And your apologies like stones Who can throw the furthest one The burnt books, deleted songs The back drawer bedsheets washed once The lessons that you taught your sons The shelves all stocked up to the back With jars of old panic attacks I'm walking corridors of artefacts Oh, the night is long at the museum And everything is wrong at the museum The spoils of tiny wars Won't someone find the doors We were never yours Brother, let me shed some light We've made a list alright We've been talking to each other We've been talking in the night See, at the rising of the sun You'd do well to turn and run We regrettably inform you that our stories are not yours We don't do tours here any more The place is shut, the windows black And we're not ever going back We're lighting bonfires with the artefacts
7.
Bloodline 04:35
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Girl you look like fucking fire tonight And I'm hoping that you feel alright Half the time it's running uphill Half the time it's like a standstill There are voices getting louder The return of ancient borders But I promise I can hear you I know you've seen some things And I think I've seen some too We are here and glowing somehow Tiny revolutions and now You've picked all the clothes off your bedroom floor And I don't hate sundays any more The world falls apart A firework blast When age old stories come undone Babe you're just another girl Going out to your car to scream So you don't bother anyone You and me, yeah, let's bother everyone In some ways you're in my bloodline Held my hand in 1969 We'd spent years just running uphill Got in a spot of trouble with the old bill Now I've heard we've slashed your tyres Said you were something dangerous, a liar I hope you know that I am sorry I hope you know that I am I hope the world falls apart A firework blast When age old stories come undone Babe you're just another girl Going out to your car to scream So you don't bother anyone You and me, yeah, let's bother everyone And there's that time when you were 5 Or I was 9 and we were trapped inside The things we we were supposed to be The walls of our society And I thought I was on my own And you thought you were all alone And then we went and talked about it Then we went and talked about it There's nothing for me if it's not for you too There's not one without the other There's no freedom if the freedom's subject to
8.
Love you species! 04:11
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It lives inside the blood, it lives inside the brain I'm looking for the bottom, where's the bottom There's no bottom to the endless rage But oh my species, I love you anyway Oh my species Love you species I've learned things from what I didn't sever I've met all my friends in rainy weather Yeah, one day we can meet outside If we know where to hide Then we know where to find each other One day we can be prepared Get them running scared Cause what has gone, it won't recover The news rolls in from capital A list of what has died Summer, like a government, is keeping us inside And all my favourite places haven't heard from me in weeks But I hope they know I've plans for them The avenues and streets Yeah, one day we can meet outside If we know where to hide Then we know where to find each other One day we can be prepared Get them running scared Cause what has gone, it won't recover I've never loved a virus I've only loved the roar I've never loved the man who sends the workers off to war But every wave that batters in does something to the shore And every day I hate you I just love my people more The nurses on a dying wage saw my grandma better And my postie, he's held all my letters And now I know that when the bin collectors came They were caring for the half of me I always threw away
9.
Sundial 02:53
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Shadow on the street Body in the world we made My body is a sundial blade Remember all the names We used to call things when the autumn sun shone Where have all the autumn words gone I was never any good at this Don't know how to be a pragamatist Don't know how to fall apart The rain is pouring through the roof Can I catch in a pan Can I catch it with my hands You'd miss it if you blink In a room a crowd assembles Voice of a scientist trembles Knuckles in the dark In the capital a hood and flag In the video a white bear staggering October is too warm Jumper wrapped around my hips like the idea of a child
10.
Invent It 04:09
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Last night when I cried You said it's alright, we can fight Ding dong, kettle on We've been talking half the night What now, it's all breaking down But I still want to be around to turn it round with you It hurts, it's getting worse Cause half the world is turning blue This dusty world, let's shake it Love does not exist We should invent it Will you go with me places Love does not exist We should invent it This blood, it was born inside a beat inside a bar I heard it in the dark of the canal, the protest march I don't know where we're going to But I know I'd go there with you Our history in our hands The ones they held inside the hospitals, the prisons, stolen land This dusty world, let's shake it Love does not exist We should invent it Will you go with me places Love does not exist We should invent it We should rescue the flowers from a millionaire's lawn We should dance in queer sweat and walk home in the dawn We should be late for work twice a week just to talk Tell each other our bad dreams of riots and cops And I like you so much it embarrasses me More than shorelines and springsteen and thunder and tea You tell me when I'm a wanker, never do it by halves And that July I was sad you read me books in the bath If you want I'll do your sun cream, you could do mine I think we'll be alright, do you remember the time When we danced like our legs were just there for the night I think I couldn't blink for the joy, think I cried

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released May 28, 2023

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Anna Oakes-Monger Lancaster, UK

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